The Sacred Pressure of Sensual Pleasure

The Pressure in Pleasure

Horny is a very powerful feeling which goads us to reproduce, it’s a desire which drives the individual toward fulfillment; however as every man knows this is not a fulfillment which can ever be truly reached, as we are only sexually satisfied in the short term until horny visits once again. We are so conditioned to attach action to desire, horny rises and we seek a release of the pressure, which is of course fine. Men in particular are very uninformed or we simply don’t acknowledge that something very potent occurs with ejaculation, there is a literal loss of energy, of life force; think about how your enthusiasm wanes post cum, this dynamic applies to women to a certain extent also. With every desire is a flow of energy and whether that energy flows externally depends on choice which can occur unconsciously or consciously. Every desire has e-motion (energy in motion) behind it, and this is what we are responding to and if we believe the fulfillment of this emotion/desire lies with something outside of us we lack clarity about the origin of the energy to begin with. In order for one to understand desire you must understand that the desire is rising from within. This pressure to act is motivating us to make a choice, however sometimes desire is so powerful we are unaware we even have a choice. Choice is where the power of the personality lies. If we make choices which are aware then those actions we commit ourselves to offer us greater fulfillment and potentially less over all energy loss. When energy flows externally through action this represents the “divine” masculine, and when the energy is brought back toward center through surrender and receptivity this represents the divine feminine; however it is presence itself cultivated through meditation which consolidates the flow of energy and represents the balance point or union of the masculine and feminine. We are out of balance as a culture, scattered as individuals due to the externalizing of energy. Take a moment and reflect on your average day; maybe it unfolds something like this: Wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, drive to work, work 9-5pm, go to the gym, shower, eat, watch TV or read, go to bed; notice how these are all activities which are mundane and all require the expenditure of energy. There is nothing inherently wrong with utilizing energy in this way. Even our most average of days represent a net expenditure of energy with no consolidation or processing of the events of the day. Whether or not we like it many of the worries or concerns of our days which go unresolved and continue to drain energy away from our center, away from our body and sabotaging the healing process.
Sexual Pleasure without Release

Often Westerners associate sex with Tantra, this stems from a misunderstanding. In Tantra sex is simply used as a technique to motivate the flow of energy. Once the energy is flowing the practitioner has an opportunity to center and feel this energy deeply. Once the practitioner is filled with sensuality, assuming there has been no ejaculation, he/she will feel much more at ease and comfortable in their own skin. Feeling embodied leads to the next progression which involves mediation. Practices which bring us closer to our bodies also connect us to nature and illuminate the fact that we too are nature. Closeness to nature is grounding and once our energy body is grounded we will experience less resistance in meditation. When embodied and present we are brave and are able to confront the deepest of emotional traumas in a transcendent way. Meditation is like taking out the trash. Think about Karma as causes without effects. In this life we move along a path from birth until death confronting the pleasures and challenges which rise for the sake of our Earthly education. As life moves toward us our causes are addressed and the effects unfold. When we meditate the patterns/Karma which exist within the psyche are slowly released and we are given the opportunity to allow and transcend what rises. Once the pattern has evolved our Karma has changed and we need not continue to unconsciously seek the fulfillment of the cause. It’s through mediation and awareness that additional causes and effects are avoided leading us to the experience of ever increasing clarity. In summary all techniques associated with a spiritual path intend to create a movement of energy for the purpose of transcendence in mediation.
See the source imageImage from: Alchemy Lab
Self Pleasure as a Technique
There seems to be a lot of debate about the function of self pleasuring as it applies to ones spiritual path. When I was going through Kundalini Yoga teachers training the guru stated that masturbation was a “sick practice”, and this sentiment is echoed by others on many Orthodox paths. In Yoga there is a left hand and a right hand path. The right hand path is the path of purity in which the student follows the instruction of the Teacher to exclude or abstain from overindulgence and the student regards the experience of the teacher as absolute. The left hand path is what I would consider Tantra, at least from a Western perspective; it is a path in which the individual’s discernment is most highly valued, and choices are made to include sex, drugs, alcohol, etc as tools for facilitating the movement of energy. Both paths do require some degree of purification, even the left hand path sees the value of abstaining from certain tools for as long as needed so that the student may experience a contrast between a clean life and one in which intoxicants and pleasures are utilized as if on auto-pilot. Tantra is a sacred practice and all tools are utilized in a conscious and aware manner. The practice of making something sacred allows us to access the healing potential innate within any substance or practice. Smoking marijuana for example can be a means of escape or a way of accessing deeper awareness, it all depends on the approach. If you are just watching TV while stoned are you truly taking advantage of Marijuana’s potentially healing properties?
With self pleasuring there is an opportunity, however one must be aware of the drawbacks to using masturbation as a technique. When a man ejaculates more is lost than simply semen, energy is also lost. Think about how you feel after you ejaculate? Many of us feel fatigue, hungry, want a smoke, etc…, and often we feel less like wanting to bond or be intimate, which can create a strain on relationships if the man is releasing to frequently. Keep in mind that any activity we choose to do will have either an additive effect or will subtract from our overall sense of well being. The vital energy released during ejaculation is potent healing energy and many men who indulge excessively can feel without purpose and generally foggy about what it is they are doing in life; also in the long term men who release excessively tend to get sick much more. When orthodox paths state that masturbation is depleting they are not making a clear distinction between ejaculation and orgasm, its just assumed all men are ejaculating. Orgasms are very healing if we know how to utilize the energy in a sacred way the practice can cultivate tremendous self pleasure and energize our cells granting us an elevated sense of well being. In order to take full advantage of this healing energy the release should be prevented by becoming aware of what your edge is and learning how to back off and circulate the energy which has been aroused.
The main obstacle many meditators face is the the body can become very uncomfortable or fear rises due to our ungrounded state of being. Keeping in mind that we exist in our own body’s 24/7 from the moment of birth to the moment of death; so the most profound impact on our health comes from our relationship with ourselves. We are not victims of any illness, bacteria, virus, or accident; for example we internally create the environment for a bacteria to take hold and lead to illness, its not the bacteria that ultimately causes the dis-ease, its the individual. Even though meditation can be challenging at first, later, as we become more comfortable in our own skin, it transforms into a necessity just as eating is necessary. Any form of therapeutic touch, hypnosis, yoga, or any pleasure technique should lead us further down the path of self acceptance and once again greater comfort in one’s own skin.
Another challenge when in comes to utilizing sexual energy in a healing way is our biological and conditioned drive for release. Part of this practice is recognizing that the energy for procreation is not only modeled after how the process of creation occurs in the universe but also how this creative energy permeates all facets of life and how we create and manifest in our own lives. Since many of us have been masturbating since we were 13yo the urge for release has exceeded a purely biological imperative and now also includes our behavioral patterns. I’ve heard so many reasons why men cannot exercise discipline in this area of life, for example, “I cannot go to sleep until I whack off” . The inability to sleep is what needs to be looked at instead of simply depleting life force in order to sleep. Why do we need to ejaculate in order to sleep? Because the release depletes our energy. Keep in mind this is the very same energy which motivates us to find the correct work and our own authentic expression. If you need sleeping pills or ejaculation to fall asleep you may also need to look at your work situation, is your work fulfilling? The more unsatisfying life feels to us the more we pursue distractions and pleasure, which can lead to continued complacency with our career choices. The pressure and desire for ejaculation is so intense and should not be looked at lightly. Remember your cum is capable of bringing life into the world, so this drive is at the heart of perpetuating humanities existence on Earth. As the bible and every other sacred text states that humanity has free will and the primary power we have collectively and individually is choice. Now how many of us have exercised choice in the area masturbation and whether to ejaculate or not? I suspect not many of us. So before you judge this essay as nonsense or spiritual high mindedness ask yourself if you have ever experienced the contrast in how you feel after not ejaculating for a month or so and your current unconscious practice? Finally, reflect for a moment on how you feel emotionally after you cum, do you feel like taking on the world, do you feel grounded and connected to spirit, do you feel energized, do you feel good about where you are in life?
Sacred self pleasuring is a practice which will cease to serve us in the long term. Ultimately through our enhanced sensitivity it becomes unnecessary to masturbate at all, and we gain access to primal or cool sexual energy circulation. High states of arousal generate heat, and to much heat can have a negative impact on ones heart and brain. When we learn to circulate the horny feeling throughout our being we energize and ground the body. Sacred masturbation is only a stepping stone to the ultimate self pleasure of our sensitivity to all life has to offer. A breeze can bring about bliss, the smell of a flower can be almost orgasmic, and so to can the horny feeling without all the mental attachment. Sex occurs both in the brain and genitals. A thought or visual can trigger a reaction in the genitals, which is the way many of us function when looking at porn or in fantasy; this is top down arousal. Top down arousal is very mentally activating and can lead to accelerated activity in the mind, which of course makes meditation even more difficult. Bottom up arousal is through the response to life, the response to a situation or person which has been presented to you for your evolution. Bottom up arousal is non forced, embodied, sensual and nourishing; it enlivens us, vitalizes our organ systems, and leaves us feeling more integrated and connected to ourselves and all creation. So when considering masturbation as a technique I feel its better to conjure sensuality from a place of low mental stimulation and high on physical sensation; so stimulate, rub your body, breath deep, don’t ejaculate and feel your body vibrate with self love.
Thank You,

The Gold of Horny and Practical Attraction

I was married by the time I was 25 years old and during the time I was married I often felt very conflicted about attraction to others, men or women. The conflict was not about my confused sexual identity and my inability to choose a side but with attraction itself. I remember being told or having read it somewhere that even looking at another in a way which provoked sexual energy was cheating. Part of me knew this was untrue and that what actually matters is our behavior. I do believe many of us defend our visual hunt for ass as being biologically justified, but like so many things in life there is always an impact to our actions; our obsessive and unwanted gawking also needs to be done in moderation out of respect for others. Attraction is more than the hunt though; it is biological and it does trigger a cascade of chemicals in our bodies. As a culture we have a poor understanding of attraction and its true purpose. Some would say that we are not meant to be monogamous because if we were we would be able to shut off attraction when we are in a relationship, conversely many of those who are staunchly monogamous tend to believe cheating occurs on a vary broad spectrum from subtle (thoughts) to the gross (action).

So what are we to do? If we repress attraction then life in some ways will begin to feel very dull and the repression of this energy could also manifest issues around sex. If we express or act on our attractions in excess then our fucking around could have a number of negative consequences to both our relationships and personal health. The answer is understanding and recognition that we have a choice to act or not, to repress or not, which ultimately leads us to the third choice which is to use this provocation of our energy and biochemistry to nourish our being deeply.

When we make eye contact with someone whom we find attractive we experience a feeling. That feeling is triggered by a number of endocrine secretions including oxytocin, dopamine, testosterone… That feeling is also energy in motion and what we do with that energy will actually lead to internal friction or vitalization of our body. Some of us actually will begin negative self talk, which is a form of repression, thinking that we are too ugly or that we are somehow unworthy of another’s attention and affection. Others of us will create elaborate fantasy or story around what the eye contact means further inflating our already ballooned ego with reflections on how hot and sexy we are. What I am suggesting you try instead is to first recognize your storyline regarding this eye contact, and secondly bring you energy back into the body through feeling. Once we connect with the feeling letting our storylines go, simply pause and feel all over your body; up your back, down your front, all the way to your fingers and toes; Inhale, exhale and go about your day. The whole process with some practice takes about 10 seconds. Do you have 10 seconds to spare for reconnecting to your body which holds within it’s makeup your ability to experience life with depth and in a healthy way?

Horny, like attraction, is very powerful and is a signal from the body that a potential mate may be right in front of you, but it can also serve another purpose which is far more subtle. While attraction generally requires the presence of another person, horny on the other hand often occurs without another soul around. We get horny in the morning, men really understand this one; we get horny when we are depressed or in a good mood, horny is triggered by visuals, and sometimes we are just horny. No matter why we are horny, with time and awareness we can start to see that the signal of horny is not only driven by the biological imperative to reproduce but also is a signal from the body that we need to feel our body. Feeling our body goes beyond masturbation or the pursuit of another person who can aid us in our feeling. Horny happens far to frequently for many of us to always be seeking relief through release. Feeling is a call from the body to integrate our intellect, our personality back into the vehicle. We live in a conditioned society which has prepared us for work and interaction with man’s creation; which means our energy is frequently being directed outside ourselves. The body is experienced as separate when we are overly identified with the workings of the mind and our function within man’s construct. The body is nature and its our connection to the bigger picture, our uplink to connecting will all that is. So when we feel horny simply go into feeling in the same way I described the process with attraction above, and allow this wonderful drip from our loins and higher glands to vibrate and nourish our organs and entire being. When repeated many times per day you will feel like the “master of your domain” and your relationship with all that you are will feel more integrated.

Seinfeld Show about masturbation

Thank You, Akal

Orgasms that Heal, Orgasms that Hinder

The practice of masturbation goes back for as long as man has been in existence and figured out that if the sexual organs are touched a pleasurable sensation rises. Within the genitals are dense clusters of nerve endings and because of these nerve endings we discover not only sexual pleasure but also the design allows us to understand something very fundamental; anywhere in the body where there are dense clusters of sensory nerves you have a part of the body which is essential for survival. Think of what it would be like to be without your sight, touch, smell or hearing etc…? The act of procreation is actually a recreation of the process which occurs for the formation of all mater, cell division and agglomeration. Sexual stimulation from touch, fantasy, visual aid etc are full body processes which draw our attention and energy in a very powerful way. Horny is high and humanity loves its drugs. Many of us discovered our genitals at a very early age, for men it probably occurred around age 13 and once we figured out how masturbation worked we really took ownership of the process and many of us began doing it daily to get high, to feel pleasure, or to avoid boredom. Point is we created a habit. When we do something in a habitual way without much variation of the experience ceases to give us the high it once did, but yet we continue.
Politics and religion over the years have attempted to manipulate our bedroom behaviors, of which masturbation is one. Any attempt to control sexual behavior augments the attitudes and experiences we all have with regard to sex. When this energy, sexual energy, is tampered with through morality, judgement, or habitual release our energy becomes distorted from the ideal or its natural way. Ejaculation and orgasm are very powerful experiences which transcend pleasure and stimulation and can be a powerful tool for healing the body’s energy flow and hence the body’s general health. Agree with me or not, but the primary function of govern-ment (govern means to control, ‘ment’ means mind) is to guide the behaviors of the citizens and if the behaviors are guided then so to is the life force or energy of which sexual energy is part. In modern times there is less interest in controlling sexual energy through morality and it’s more likely that we are now controlled through permissiveness and lack of fundamental sexual education. So between the new attitude of sexual permissiveness and our lack of understanding in maters of human energy one of the largest industries in the world is now the sex industry and porn. With so many men in particular operating in ignorance and discharging several times per week many of us have very week orgasms and our body’s have become weak and move toward decrepit at far to faster rate. According to science there is a long list of hormones and neurotransmitters that are effected in very powerful ways with each release: dopamine, prolactin, testosterone, estrogen, cortisol, luteinizing hormone, endorphins, serotonin, gonadatropins… With all these chemicals affected is it no wonder too many weak orgasms can lead to sexual dysfunction, mental disturbance, lack of clarity, and overall dissatisfaction in our sex lives; if you doubt this assessment just consider, men particularly, how you feel post orgasm, we experience our bodies and our partners in a very different way post release. . A healthy sex life and attitude is essential to having a healthy state of mind/body as well as relating intimately and openly with our partners.
The strength of the orgasm determines the healing impact it has on the body. Weak orgasms produce a draining effect, strong ones a clearing and healing effect. According to Native American traditions our body’s need orgasm as much as we need to sleep or eat and they are truly for our body’s health. Our body is inseparable from our mind and our consciousness, because of this if the body is impacted so to are the other aspects of our being. So a powerful orgasm will have an impact on feelings of emotional well being, we feel more embodied, can increase the clarity of our consciousness, and can aid in the release of stagnant energy from the body therefore diminishing the likelihood of dis-ease.
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How it works is rather simple to understand. A greater charge will lead to a greater discharge and what determines the direction of flow of the energy is the attention of the individual. Energy follows attention, So consider this; if you have a weak or strong orgasm but the focus is on porn then where does the energy flow too? Answer: the computer screen or into the ethers, and we feel drained or sleepy after. If you have a lot of charge or build up and you are not engaged in visual aids or fantasy and instead are in a place of feeling and sensing then where does the energy go? Answer: the orgasm moves inward in an implosive fashion and we feel energized after. Our attitudes are also major factors in determining the impact of our orgasms. If we are holding negative attitudes about our body, our partners, or sex in general this too can have a detrimental effect on the quality of the orgasm. Before embarking on your path to respecting sexual energy it is essential that orgasms in general be viewed in a positive light, and that while practicing to achieve higher level satisfaction be conscious of your attitude regarding short falls and be aware of any self shaming that may rise. In the Native American Nagual tradition of Quodoushka, teacher Amara Charles describes orgasms on a scale of 1-4 which I will summarize here.
Level 1, Repulsion Energy: This is a very weak and unsatisfying orgasm usually due to lack of charge or build up, a focus on porn, quickie sex, and is not in anyway embodied. This depleting orgasm often leads to feelings of separation or distance from a partner. End result is sleepiness, and only the first chakra is opened for men, and 1-3 for women.
Level 2, Repulsion toward Adhesion Energy: More physically satisfying, gain some energy. A balance of charge and discharge is reached, the feeling of some balance mentally and spiritually is achieved. If partnered there is some heart connection. Man is less distant, woman is more nurturing and giving. we feel somewhat satisfied but feel like we could do it again. Definitely feel more energetic after, but still relaxed.
Level 3, Adhesion toward Cohesion Energy: We feel like all is aligned. Deeply satisfied and ready for more. Expanded awareness, possible experience of visions of past lives, many tremors and after shocks. Feel a sense of balance in all aspects mentally, physically, spiritually, and sexually. All lower chakras have been opened up to 5th for men and 7th for women.
Level 4, Cohesion Energy: This is a transcendent space in which all aspects are balanced and time seems to disappear. No energy is lost but instead seems to recycle itself allowing for further love making to occur. If making love it feels as if the bodies merge as one. Awareness is expanded, healing is deep, and aging ceases, we often experience abundant inner light, all chakras are opened, and separation of genders disappears. This is the kind of orgasm achieved between two loving partners involved in a Tantra style union.
I tend to think of this less along the lines of defined levels and more like a spectrum. Personally, if I am self pleasuring I will achieve higher level orgasms by prolonging the experience, breathing deeply and slowly, and making sure I am free of thoughts/fantasy/visual aids. In order to guarantee it’s the most embodied experience possible I do some yoga prior along with extensive self massage and breath work. By just knowing that we all have the potential to reach higher states of pleasure and satisfaction I was awakened to these higher states, but first I had to release my old patterns of behavior and attitudes toward my body. Eat well, exercise, breath, and treat your body like the temple that it is and you will be rewarded with growth, love, well being, and amazing orgasms.

Premature Ejaculation, Hyper Sensitivity, and The Deep Let Down

Over a quarter of all men report they experience episodes of premature ejaculation; I think women would report that number being much higher. Premature ejaculation (PE) is often characterized as a man’s inability to control his ejaculation before both partners are satisfied. The time frame is a little difficult to pin down, but most of the surveys I looked at consider it to be about two minutes prior to or after penetration. I would argue the real time frame is more subjective and has to do with the enjoyment of both parties involved. Any release prior to both parties being satisfied feels premature, or if a man is on the edge of ejaculation the whole time he is making love this takes away from his satisfaction as well. Satisfaction is not just about cumming… and not to be too cliche’… it’s about the journey as well. Let’s not get to caught up on how long a man can last or what the clinical definition is and instead simply look at what the issue is, how it affects the sufferer(s), and what can be done to address the challenge.

PE is difficult for everyone involved. Consider for a moment the reality that there are differences between the sexes… I know there are social justice warriors out there are convinced there are no gender variations… however, the majority of us do understand, sexually speaking, that women and men are very different. Men are capable, when driven by blind lust, to be very self serving sexually, and we forget that it takes longer for a woman, and for many men as well, to be ready for penetration/sexual activity. The Daoists, and pretty much every ancient spiritual system, state a man’s strength or drive lies in his sexual energy with his heart needing time to open; for a woman her strength lies in the heart with readiness in her genitals coming around slower. A typical sexual encounter according to Dr. Harry Fisch lasts only 7.3 minutes, with about half of all men finishing within 2 minutes… makes me wonder how this impacts our collective male mojo? Possible causes include: Physical reasons… urethritis, prostatitis, hyperthyroidism, erectile dysfunction, obesity; Psychological reasons… relationship problems, performance anxiety, female partner who has difficulty with orgasm, body image issues, or low self esteem. Regardless of the cause there are many actions a man can take to increase his staying power that have nothing to do with stopping ejaculation or applying a desensitizing cream.

My Tantra teacher once stated that she believed that men ejaculate to quickly because we condition ourselves through our masturbation practice, which started in our teens while sneaking in a session quickly so that we would not be discovered. This is one plausible cause. Personally I have found that often when a man cums to quickly it was because he was over aroused and hyper attuned to his own sensation. So whether the cause is physical, related to our masturbation practice, or hypersensitivity here are some tips which might aid in augmenting this condition.

1. Pelvic floor work- This suggestion I feel every man should do regardless if he suffers from PE or not. Working the muscles along our pelvic floor is extremely important even if for no other reason than you don’t want to leave the world the way you came into it… wearing diapers. Working the pelvic floor muscles not only tones the muscles but it also cultivates the nervous system in that area. When we feel fully connected to our pelvic floor we will also feel more comfortable in our own body. The more attuned to our physicality we are the more we are aware of the pressure that ejaculation creates. I do not suggest a man do pelvic floor work during sex in order to stop discharge as this will shift his focus back onto himself, which is the issue as hypersensitivity is the problem in the first place; instead I suggest that he know when he is about to cum and simply pause all the activity once he can sense that pressure becoming to much. How to do the practice: Inhale, contract your anus, then perineum, genitals, then pull in the navel… and as you increase the magnitude of the contraction exhale and hold for about 5 seconds… then relax, inhale and repeat. In yoga this is a very important maneuver and is called mula bandha or root lock.

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2. Change your approach. Most men approach sex in a hot way. We get all steamed up, anxious to get to it, and once we are inside we get overwhelmed by the intensity and sensation… 7 minutes later sploosh and it’s all over. I can almost guarantee that without adequate foreplay she didn’t experience much pleasure with this approach and forget about her having an orgasm. If a man is hypersensitive or anxious slowing down and redirecting his focus is the best thing he can do. Focus on her pleasure and keep in mind her whole body needs attention, not just the juicy bits. Try massaging her first, gentle kisses all over, connecting with her through eye contact, breathing together, then move onto the sexier parts, and finally after much time has passed your nervous energy should be dissipated. Your arousal should now be cooled, and she will more likely will be ready for penetration. With this approach even if you only have intercourse for 5 minutes, she will be much more satisfied because she feels connected and her whole body has been touched. This is a fundamental approach one should work on if you are interested in Tantric Sex.

Thank You, Akal

Sexual Energy: Hot vs Cool Arousal

When I was about 13 years old I came across my Father’s dirty magazine collection… I guess it wasn’t as innocent as coming across this content, it was more like I was snooping and happened upon them. I still remember the feeling I experienced upon finding the magazines filled with the images of beautiful women who had cast their shame aside and donned not a thing man made. I was overwhelmed with a intense flush of energy, a hot radiance began to coarse through me and my skin seemed to catch fire, my heart began to beat fast and my breath rate tripled. This is power, it’s the power of sexual energy and the power that many women have long forgot they have. This was a hot sexual energy reaction.

The intensity of hot sexual energy is very seductive, because we as humans and Westerners in general enjoy experiences, drugs, foods, etc that have an intense impact. Does intense mean that it is good or better? The answer to this is… it depends. Take the example of Pharmaceuticals. Long before Rockefeller/allopathic Medicine came along we had herbs and various other natural remedies which impacted the body in a generally more gentle way. As drugs became more refined and more powerful on the whole we began to experience a greater impact on the body and the symptoms being managed. This increased impact had a double edged sword attached to, it also meant more deaths, complications and additional side effects on the body. In the present day we have Pharmaceuticals killing more people every year than all illegal drugs do combined, which has led many of us to seek out more subtle ways to manage the symptoms of our health related challenges, like Homeopathic remedies, herbs, improved diet, yoga, etc… Hot sexual energy is top-down stimulation, meaning that the energy perks up based on a visual stimulus or a fantasy. Studies done in Europe in 2002 showed that 13 percent of men ages 40-80 demonstrated erectile dysfunction (ED). A later follow up study was completed in 2011, but this time done with men 18-40 years old showed ED rates around 14-28%. Of course, I can’t be certain as to what caused this drastic increase particularly considering the men were younger in the second study, but I suspect the massive increase in using hot arousal for sexual stimulation is the driving force. The use of porn has sky rocketed to the point where now over 35% of all search engine inquiries are related to porn.

What we need to understand about top-down stimulus is that it inflames our being. When I say inflame I mean that we are being influenced by the experiential, bodily manifestation of the element of fire. Esoterically fire is associated with movement, action, transformation, burning/incinerating, and it affects all the other elemental aspects of the body. For example, how does fire affect water? It boils water which generates steam and steam is the faster moving form of water… Fire mixes with air it leads to the feeding of fire and the increased movement of air… fire with earth leads to the scorching of the earth and if the flames are intense enough the melting of rock into lava. In the body these manifestations are felt as physiological changes. Increased heart rate is the acceleration of the fire principle, increase breathing is the increase in the movement of the air principle, the boiling of water is the increase in glandular secretions, desire and rate of semen discharge. If you can consider for a moment the concept of the chakras. The chakras essentially are spins and vibrations. As energy moves from our base root chakra upward to the crown the frequency of vibration increases as well, and as our attention moves upward we get to experience how creation as we know it is manifests. All things physical at one point were something more fluid or subtle. Let’s say you wish to buy a car. In your mind you intend the car and picture it, which is connecting at a higher frequency and less solid form. As you decide/desire (motionless water, sexual/potential energy) you wish to bring the car into reality you begin to work harder to manifest it; the effort and action which is the more dense and transformative fire principle in action. Once your fire is acting fueled by thought and intention we feel increased desire for the car and this increased desire/emotions, water element, is heated up into steam which turns the wheels even faster toward manifestation. Finally, the day comes to purchase the vehicle and once we are behind the wheel it is now manifest, earth element. So the progression energetically looks like pure energy/spirit activates the mind, the mind decides it wants a car, the decision perks up desire, desire leads to action, and action leads to the actual car. I hope this illustrates clearly the creation story all of which was initiated by the etheric aspect which is spirit or a seed which eventually birthed the thought (air).

Embracing Chinese Medicine's Five Elements in a Western Diet – DAO ...

From DAO Labs

When Hot arousal occurs energy is perked up in a intense manner and many physiological processes are stimulated, because the mind and the body are so intertwined this means that hot arousal will also increase activity in the mind. Consider a fetish or a kink. Kinks are top down stimulus, they exist because the mind has translated the signals from the nervous system and energy body which are influenced by past experiences, sometimes traumas, and unresolved issues. Understanding and exploring kinks can be instrumental in our individual growth if we can perceive why the desire and fantasy has surfaced. Often when acting out a kink we discover something of value about who we are on a deeper level, assuming we are functioning with some level of awareness; however this is a difficult task, as many of us get swept away in the hot desire to act and the gratification of the release that we fail to see the deeper meaning. Take for example a cuckolding situation in which a man desires to see his wife have sex with another man. Men who have this experience often report a confused mix of emotions and intensity of feeling associated with this act. The act is mixed with all the tell tail signs of hot arousal plus the addition of feelings of jealousy and possessiveness, and of course this is related to visual stimulus. I feel that if you were to survey many of these men about their history you might find they might look at porn a great deal or that the fantasy is linked to an actual betrayal; other words, the cuckold fantasy is actually him sexualizing the hurt as a protective mechanism for the personality. The issue with unresolved kink or reliance on hot arousal as a man’s soul means of expressing his sexuality is that all the heat generated accelerates the activity of the mind and this can lead to obsessing about hot situations and perhaps unhealthy expressions of one’s sexual energy.

The natural balancing point lies in a man exploring cool arousal which slows down the mental process and places the awareness back into a more grounded state in the body. Cool arousal can take some getting used to because we get so accustomed to intense feelings. Cool leads to movement as well, but we are in a place of feeling and sensing, so the energy flow is concentrated in our body, hence in a more grounded state. Cool sexual energy flows into greater density, the body, where as hot sexual energy flows outward into the ethers. Cool arousal is very much a Yoga technique, and our lack of practice in this method is why many of us don’t truly understand Tantric sex. If we accept that awareness directs energy it also utilizes the fire principle in the body, however the difference once again has to do with the intensity of the heat and where it is being concentrated. Cool arousal will bring warmth to the body and includes a gentle stimulation of the heart. When we are stimulated in a hot way the energy is activated in such a way that it bypasses the heart and it’s power pull to connect us with others and ourselves. When we connect with our sexual partners or ourselves in a cool way while self pleasuring, the slow gradual rise in sexual energy allows for us to not become so obsessive about getting off. When we take our time to connect we bring the heart into play and a energetic transformation can occur, which is at the heart of Tantric sex. Remember what I said at the beginning of this commentary that a man’s strength lies in his desire/genitals/sexual energy and his challenge lies in opening and connecting through his heart. Fundamentally hot arousal often creates a friction between partners unless they both are functioning through this mode. In the case of a opposite sex partners if he is in hot mental arousal and she is not, it’s highly likely that he will push to advance his sexual agenda based on the intense pressure of desire, which is a problem because she needs him to slow down so that she can let him in. This sort of sex can be draining for both involved. I’m not saying that cool is better than hot, but I am implying that it’s necessary that both partners be on the same page. When woman complains about a mans closed heart, she may very well be correct but it’s not accepting him for where he is at the present moment and any complaint about this will most likely create further withdraw on his part. When both parties take there time and allow arousal to rise in an intentional cool way then the rush of sexual desire need not bypass the heart allowing for deep connected sex. Connection transcends our mundane interests and hobbies, it allows us to connect as if on another dimension. The power of sexual connection creates a flow of energy that results in not only greater pleasure but it pressurizes our life force leading to catharsis, enhanced feelings of embodiment and clarity.

The path for a man begins with practicing cool arousal during self pleasuring. The reason practice is necessary is because we need a contrast. If we continue to practice hot arousal by masturbating to porn then we will not be able to see the difference in effect these practices have of our sense of well being and the overall pleasure we experience. Research has found that after one ejaculation it takes minimally about three days for a man to recover physiologically from the release, and considering most men don’t wait 3 days between sessions means most men are functioning with sub-optimal energy. When I was in grad school and we were studying muscle adaptation to exercise induced stress we found out that for the first 40 days of a strength training program participants often experienced increases in strength. This adaptation was not due to increases in muscle size but rather due to augmentations in the nervous system, other words, one’s ability to lift more weight was because of increases in efficiency within the nervous system. The need to abstain from release for longer periods of time is necessary because it allows us to observe and contrast how we feel, and it allows our physiology to reset leading to our new norm. The overall discussion about hot vs cool arousal is one of balance; it’s about efficiency, the experience of ourselves and our bodies, the desire to choose practices which are additive to our lives, and ultimately lead to us feeling better about the lives we lead…. is there anything more practical than this?

Thank You, Akal

Unpacking the Penis; Vulnerability

When I was in middle school like most young people I had not cultivated control over my speech and it’s this lack of filter that created a scene in which I would have the opportunity to experience some of the greatest acute pain I have ever endured. I don’t recall what I said to trigger a female student to momentarily despise me enough to cause me harm, but I’m certain it was somewhat deserved. Women really don’t understand just how sensitive the testicles are and as men we go to great lengths to protect them. In sports men must where cups, and ask any man who has ever been struck in his manhood about the trauma and his face will absolutely contort and wince. On that day in middle school after blurting out some unwelcome nonsense the female student cocked her leg back as if to kick a soccer ball and unloaded, with her pointy ass shoes, an attack right into my boys. I collapsed knees first cupping my manhood and gasping for air. I rolled on the floor like a pendulum for a good ten minutes unable to even scream or breath. After I managed to stand I hobbled to the bathroom to have a look, and I’ll just say this.. there was more than a little swelling. As much as the insecure adolescent in me wanted a bigger penis this was not the way to achieve it. If I recall correctly I think it took about two weeks before my penis once again looked and felt normal.

Image result for kicked in balls

I feel there is little in a man’s life that scares him more than physical threats to his manhood. I’ve always felt it was God’s little joke that men have external genitalia as it seems to humble men and keep us from being to reckless in fear that harm might come to our little man. A man’s primary motive force in life is his sexual energy. I’m not suggesting it’s sex that’s motivating him, even though this is often true, what I am suggesting is that sexual energy is a base or format energy that determines the quality of all life force as it differentiates through the Human Chakra system. Think of sexual energy as the base of the pillars holding up a porch on a house; if you remove the bottom of the pillar the porch will collapse eventually. As an example I will walk on a well beaten path and talk about ejaculation. Many Tantra, Daoist, or Yoga gurus often say that a man looses his root when he ejaculates. This is a rather cryptic comment unless you understand human energy dynamics and the physiological process of enlightenment; which I will cover in blogs to come. In essence what these cultivated individuals are saying is that the process of enlightenment, the path toward wholeness, is all about pressure and it’s the very same pressure the man is responding to when he decides he must expel his sperm. The problem is that unlike typical animals the human animal mates when he feels like it or has the opportunity and in modern times this means anytime he is aroused which is seemingly always because of the proliferation of eye candy and porn all over the Internet he can masturbate away the pressure.  Now more than ever men are being challenged by their sexual choices and that challenge is to discharge or not, to have sex or not, to fill ones mind with sexual images or not; and these choices will go a long way in determining how healthy he is both physically and mentally. The very same energy you release when you cum is the energy needed for clear thought, for a strong immune response, for digestion, for exercise, for feeling connected to other humans, for compassion, for more intense spiritual woo woo, etc… Other words, when the Gurus say a man looses his “root” what they are saying is that his interest and feeling of connection with his body diminishes post ejaculation. A man with a full sexual charge is in a heightened state, one that can link him deeply to his body and the sensations it offers. It’s this very same self sensual energy which can be redirected, or transmuted, to supply the necessary pressure for him to access other supra-sensory realms of reality such as visions. Overall, how a man treats his body in general will determine how good he feels in his own skin.

A man’s vulnerability is not always easy to see because we often compensate with busyness, machismo, or self righteousness. Ways he is vulnerable… include discharge (weakening), sexual images can manipulate his sex drive unconsciously, cultural belief in circumcision and simply possessing external genitalia.  I’ve already talked a bit about the impact of ejaculation so now I will look at a man’s anatomy and the impact external genitalia might have on men physically, emotionally and mentally. The fundamental purpose of the penis and testicles being external has to do with temperature regulation. I’m sure many of you have witnessed how the testicles with rise pulling closer to the body and fall, however many of us have not considered the significance and instead take this life perpetuating feat for granted. When the testicles pull closer to the body it is to warm the sperm and when they droop its to cool the sperm. For sperm to remain viable they must stay about 39.2 degrees F, however on the cooler end of the scale the sperm motility (movement) is lessened considerably meaning that that pathway to the females ovaries is going to seem like a long one. It’s been found that the best temperature for sperm to do their work and maintain both viability and motility is at 1-2 degrees F under the body’s core temperature of 98.6 degrees F, hence the need for balls that hang outside the core of the body, which unfortunately leaves him vulnerable to accidents or attacks to his manhood.

See the source image

Circumcision is a very odd practice in my opinion. This archaic practice began thousands of years ago for the purposes of ‘Hygiene”. I’m not buying it! According to the Mayo Clinic “circumcision makes it easier for a boy to wash his penis” which is an incredibly lame reason to take a knife to a child’s genitals. This inhumane act, similar to the clitoridectomy, which most of the world decries as barbaric, is the removal of the child’s foreskin which just so happens to contain many nerve endings. My less than thorough research into the reasons why circumcision occurs led mostly well established medical reasoning and shallow religious motives. Looking at the big picture circumcision may actually be inflicting trauma, altering endocrine functioning, and changing how men approach sex. When the foreskin is removed nerves are also removed which not only changes the sensitivity of the penis but also exposes the most sensitive part of the penis to its environment more directly. I found studies which stated that men who have been circumcised have more sexual partners, masturbate more frequently, and even use condoms less frequently ( If men are behaving in a more sexual way how might this affect his life force, his feelings of embodiment, and his access to spiritual experiences? As I have previously stated, if a man is discharging his sexual energy too frequently it will have a negative impact on his well being and ability to reach higher spiritual states. So if it is indeed true that circumcised men are more sloppy with their sexual energy then I will take the conspiratorial route and say that the true occult reason for this practice is to reduce a man’s sexual pleasure and drive him toward excess sexual discharge and novelty which weakens the man’s mind and a weak mind is a more easily controlled mind. There is also some evidence that circumcised men have a form of PTSD that uncircumcised men do not. Personally, when working with a energy healer I received a circumcision healing which, much to my surprise, was felt very deeply for about a week after. I noticed a number of results from this healing including tingling sensations for about two days where my foreskin once was and less physical tension in my genital area. Regardless of how you feel about this procedure keep this fact in mind… nerves are connected to the entire man hence the whole man is impacted mentally, emotionally, and physically; they are intertwined through our whole being, through our central nervous system and hence our endocrine system… there is bound to be a cascade of subtle impacts which affect the whole man.

Thank You,


The Shaming of the Male Mojo

In middle school growing up in Alliance, Ohio I used to walk to school everyday. On my daily walk I usually crossed a large field and into a narrow patch of woods which stood as a buffer between the field and the College next to it. Sometimes when crossing through the woods I would discover items which a young person really has no business being in contact with such as used condoms, cigarettes, porn, and beer. These taboo objects were very attractive to me not because as a sixth grader I had any idea how and what they were good for but because of the cultural conditioning which deemed these things taboo particularly for a boy my age. Interestingly, anytime I came across fodder for adult good times I always felt a sense of sexual excitement. One day I found a few cans of beer which were no doubt stashed there by some college students who were most likely under the drinking age. Upon finding the beer I felt an immediate sexual arousal, and I of course did not recognize as sexual, which prompted me to open one of these tepid beers to have a taste. I of course thought the lukewarm beer was awful tasting, so I dumped the rest out and then I went on with my day. At the time of this experience I had no clue why it felt sexual, however later in life when I reflected on this experience it did trigger some confusion. How could something non sexual feel sexual?

In Astrology there are certain placements in one’s natal chart that point to particular tendencies, and in my case I have a couple different placements which scream “deviant” and by deviant I mean to deviate from cultural norms. These chart placements incline me towards attractions to the occult, the sexual, what’s hidden, and investigation… other words a desire to understand what’s taboo. I am capable of imagining and understanding almost anything sexually so in a away I’m kind of a sexual empath. My mind likes to go down some pretty uncomfortable rabbit holes and I am always drawn to go where society says no. One of the benefits of Mediation, which I have now been doing for 20 years, is that it allows me to objectively experience all types of sexual acts without the need to actually act out; however this reveals a reoccurring conflict I have with the moral compass of the culture I/we live in. The contractions I felt in the past were largely repressed which meant the taboo would once again rise into my mind seeking a resolution. In my early twenties I tended to act out my fantasies which generally led to lots of unfulfilling sexual exploits and more confusion as to why these scenes continued playing out in my psyche. My sexual mental contortions continued even after I decided acting out wasn’t for me, and unfortunately I developed shame about the thoughts which would pop into my head. As my meditation practice deepened I realized a very fundamental principle about the nature of preferences; in meditation we must accept all that rises, good or bad and simply be present with the objects of our perception no matter how disturbing because the repression of a thought or emotion simply feeds energy to the pattern being played out and any expression of the fantasy might lead to a regretful action.

Humans have the innate desire to fit in as we are social creatures. When we don’t feel like we fit in or we are looked upon as being a deviant, men in particular, have a tendency to isolate which can lead to bigger issues and depression. When a man is isolated he is missing out on the surge in hormones which make us feel good when we connect in even the most innocent of ways. When we are connected in social ways we experience increases in various chemicals such as dopamine, prolactin, oxytocin to name a few. These chemicals make us feel satisfied in some way which beckons us to repeat the behavior. When shaming occurs we want to curl up into a ball and withdraw from contact which works to our detriment.

It’s been said that men are ‘obsessed with sex’, ‘think with their little head’, ‘are blinded by their hormones’ etc… Much of these generalizations are at times very true, however the judgment connected to these beliefs are largely viewed in a negative light. Perceiving male sexual energy or fixation as a bad thing creates within the man a shame and that shame distorts how his life force flows. The Daoists say that men and women have very different strengths. A man’s strength is his sexual energy, or another way to look at it is his creative drive. Attacking what’s innate in males, our sex drive, as being toxic and the cause of social ruin is tantamount to cultures which attempt to “guide”or control the behavior of the adherents of a particular faith or religion through guilt or fear if there is a misstep or deviation from the core tenants of the faith. The power of shame and guilt to control individuals is known and has been measured by researcher Dr. David R. Hawkins in his book Power VS Force. In Power Vs Force Hawkins used Muscle Kinesiology or Muscle Testing as a way to measure the the amount of energy certain emotions make available for living life. He found that on a scale of 0 (dead) to 1000 (total enlightenment) that shame scored at 20 and was the emotion which scored closets to death with guilt being a close second scoring a 30. Anyone who has harbored these emotions consciously would concur there is a depression of one’s life force when we are in shame.

Men in general, because we are all connected collectively, are shouldering the brunt of the shaming with certain groups being particular ripe for attack. Individually and collectively men now must acquire the tools to forgive themselves and others as being the victim is of no true benefit. Fortunately, the authoritarian and knee jerk nature of the shamers is no longer an aspect of a larger dictatorial arm of a religion or totalitarian governing body; meaning that the shame will come and go as fast as news cycles come and go, or cultural trends wax and wane.

When looking through the perceptual lens of a cultural anthropologist at the current cultural hot button subject of “toxic masculinity” you might see the trappings of a pattern that has been repeated over and over again in many different cultures and in many different ways. The current version of culturally shaming fits right into the cultural anthologist’s understanding of the Shame-Guilt-Fear spectrum…

“In a guilt society, control is maintained by creating and continually reinforcing the feeling of guilt (and the expectation of punishment now or in the afterlife) for certain condemned behaviors. The guilt-innocence world view focuses on law and punishment. A person in this type of culture may ask, “Is my behavior fair or unfair?… “This type of culture also emphasizes individual conscience ” – Wikipedia

Much of the current cultural shame complex is being played out over social media and in the media in general. I feel that the current system of shaming is now very much part of the digital ecosystem we are all learning to deal with. The good thing about this system is that misdeeds are exposed more broadly and at a faster rate which in theory should lead to quicker transformations and reform. In my ideal world there is no reason to shame, but insulating ourselves from shaming does no good because anytime you censor or play the victim card you are essentially delaying the inevitable. Shame is an opportunity for spiritual growth if the individual can perceive the trap of identifying as the victim and can make honest attempts at forgiveness of the self and the other. An individual can repress certain memories and emotions in favor of being busy or for more positive vibes, however this does not erase the existence of the folly in our nervous system or magnetic field and it will drain the body of life force in some way unless acceptance and forgiveness are utilized to further personal evolution.

The idea of what a victim is in our culture usually looks only at the one who was assaulted. The definition of what a victim now must be more broadly defined. In most systems of belief the victim is the one being attacked, and in some philosophies the victim is defined as being a group or individual with less power, or the ones who must submit to the will of another group or individual. I now propose that the so called victimizers can now also be perceived as victims in some cases. Shame is now used in expedited ways as a weapon to demean certain ideologies in favor of what has been deemed a more ‘appropriate’ ideology. Historically this was what also occurred in even the most appalling cultures, such as the Nazi’s, but also in those cultures which are perceived as more humane such as the Nordic socialist model of shaming those who speak out against what they perceive as rampant immigration in favor of diversifying the populace. Now there are many individuals who are victims of undue shamming for political reasons, cultural morals or elitist world views so it’s even easier to falsely accuse and shame individuals without doing the due diligence necessary to hash out the true details of the incident in question. When the media operates on emotion and impulse in an effort to create ‘clicks’ and ad dollars it leads to new kind of assault and a new set of victims of false shaming.

Since Shame is often used as a weapon I suspect that we will be seeing more of it in the near future, and because of this I feel it’s vitally important that we also learn how to transform shame into acceptance, otherwise it could spiral into rage. This is a simple practice, and one which I feel is worth repeating. Since this essay is largely about sexual shame the following instructions will be suitable for shifting and purifying sexual energy. Please be open to the idea that any sexual fixation or fantasy may actually have nothing to do with sex and that the sexual feeling is simply an indication the energy associated with thought is moving through the area of our energy body associated with sex; which is why it’s so vital to connect with the the feeling and to be aware of the inner dialog.

1. Think of some aspect of your sexual expression you feel shame about, or remember a time when your sexual advances were not welcomed. This conjuring should be vivid as possible utilizing all your senses. Other than the visual aspect of the mental image was or is there a smell associated… were there or are there sounds… perhaps there is even a taste that forms in your mouth… where in your body do you feel this scene???
2. Now direct your awareness toward your body. Is there an area of the body which seems to have more sensations? Now go deep into feeling and simply allow the thoughts to rise without engaging… connect with this place or places for at least one minute.
3. Now continue to stay present with the body and its sensations. Now cup your genitals… left hand at the testicles and the right cupping the penis from above. Smile deeply into your testicles. 1min… Inhale then exhale
4. Left hand remains at testicles and the right goes to the heart center (the middle of the sternum). Inner smile into your body in general. 45 sec- 1 min. Inhale then exhale
5. Both hands back to testicles…. inner smile into testicles. 45 sec- 1 min.  Inhale then exhale
6. Left hand testicles, right hand heart center. Inner smile generally. 45 sec- 1 min. Inhale then exhale
7. Both hands at heart center; Right over left… smile at the center of the sternum feeling the surface of the skin there. Repeat in your mind “I forgive myself or the other (if the shame is coming from another),  and I accept my thoughts and past actions as part of my growth.” at least 5 times
8. Inhale and retain the breath for five-ten seconds, exhale retain out 5-10 seconds… two times. Inhale and clap your hands together over the head.
9. Now go about your day

– You may need to repeat this process in order for the effect to be long term. Keep in mind it takes 40 days for our nervous systems to take on a new pattern.

Thank you All,